Disillusionment? Perhaps.

It has been about five months since I began interning at Miu Miu and I still feel excited to come to work every day. As I can not say enough, I work with a great group of people and am happy to making such a contribution to a brand that I am truly passionate about.

However, there are a few things that are starting to irritate me, most likely because of the fact that I have been given such a large amount of responsibility but have yet to receive a real reward. I have been feeling as if I am in this weird limbo between intern and employee; I put so much time and effort into my job and usually enjoy feeling as if I'm above the "typical" intern, but then I realize that it's almost ridiculous to be so invested into a temporary, unpaid position. That reality brings me back down to earth and makes me realize that there should be no need to get as worked up and overwhelmed as I do from time to time when things get a bit crazy because realistically, at the end of the day, I am still just an intern. 

Ever since I can remember, my focus has always been about getting "THE" job. I have spent the last four years working as hard as I can to establish myself in the luxury world to one day feel the sense of pride that comes when explaining where you work and what you do. I have always felt disconnected from school and could not wait for the day where I'd finally be a member of the real working world. These feelings were only reinforced once I moved to New York, where everyone lives and breathes for their job. This environment definitely aided in my rush to grow up, and in turn, I constantly felt the need to push as hard as possible to fit in with my adult surroundings.

Recently, I am starting to wish that I had done things differently and enjoyed my time as a student. I have always made work a priority and while this puts me ahead of the game in many senses, I think that I swept aside many "college" experiences in favor of a job. I know that I moved to New York for a reason and I am so close to accomplishing my goals, but the closer I get, the more I wish that I just let myself act my age for once, and stop rushing to grow up.